All aboard the Poop Train!


As the children just finished lunch and are playing nicely in Tevye’s room, I have time to tell a quick story.  At least I think they’re playing nicely.  There’s no screaming, so that’s always a good sign, and there’s enough noise to let me know that they’re not “up to something”.

We started potty training Tevye a couple months back, and as anyone who as potty trained a boy knows, it can be a long, difficult, stinky process.  He got the knack of peeing in his potty quite quickly, though pooping was a whole different story.  He has no trouble pooping, just getting it in the right spot.  As a result of his poop-anywhere-I-darn-well-please attitude, I’m always on the lookout, and the smellout for that matter, for poop on the floor.  I’ve gotten quite good at spotting the look on his face which indicates there might be a surprise hiding in the house somewhere.  So the other day I was sitting on the couch, checking my email, when T-man saunters on up, hops on the couch, and gives me a funny look.  I notice he’s got something brown on his sock, and he has a smell wafting off him that can only mean one thing.  He admits to me that he has indeed pooped somewhere in the house, but he doesn’t want to tell me where.  I discover that he’s pooped on the floor in the kitchen, under Saarah’s highchair.  It looked fairly solid, which, if you have to clean poop off the floor, you realize is not so bad.  I grabbed the paper towels and started cleaning up.  When I had nearly completed cleaning it up, I looked up to discover that Tevye had been playing with his trains on a ledge above where he pooped.  Not only that, but he had, for reasons that I’m sure will baffle me until the day I die, taken some of the poop and put it very deliberately on top of three of his trains.  It’s at times like these that I wish I could crawl inside my children’s heads and figure out what on earth their logic is for doing such things.

Both of my children are delightful, at least when they want to be, and I love them both very much, but sometimes all I can say is “Oy vey”.


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