01.20.2012 More Babies Than You Can Shake A Stick At

One of Nicole’s coworkers has children older than ours, and they had some toys/clothes that they didn’t use, so she gave them to us, which was very nice of her. Among the items was, you guessed it, yet another baby for Saarah. This is perfect because if there’s one thing that my daughter needs, it’s another baby. My goodness, you should really see her room. It’s starting to look like an orphanage in there. She could open a store, selling children, priced for quick sale. “Crazy Saarah’s Discount Orphanage – How do I sell children so cheap? I must be CRAZY!!!”Ahem… So yeah, Saarah has a new baby, and she’s been schlepping that thing around the house ever since.

Of course, her playing with a baby means that the baby is going to take naps(obviously!) which means that each time I open my mouth for the next week I’m going to be shushed by a tiny three year old girl because baby is sleeping. If I have the audacity to continue talking, then she’ll get mad at me because I will have inevitably woken the baby. Ugh, I’m pretty sure that the baby  isn’t awake. She’s made of plastic, which means she’s made from fossil fuels, which means she’s actually composed primarily of dinosaurs. If she’s suggesting that my talking at a normal volume(it’s not even like I’m shouting) is going to reanimate dinosaurs, then she must think quite highly of my vocal talents!

“I appreciate the compliment, Saarah, but I can assure you that your baby will remain asleep just as long as you continue to pretend she’s asleep. If she’s having trouble going back to sleep, just pick her up and rock her. It always worked with you.”

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