Beem-Bomisms Friday – The Ludicrous Hamburger

Well here we are for another edition of “Beem-bomisms Fridays”, where I give you a taste of the ridiculous and wacky things that come out of my children’s mouths. Even though last Friday had a different name, it’s the same idea.

There are a couple that I’ll tell you about that were discussed either in the comments section here, or on a separate blog(The Book of Alice), so if you’ve heard these two before, please pardon the repetition.

It is my nature, when blowing my nose, to do so louder than what might be considered normal, sane, or safe for anyone within a 3 foot radius. A couple of years ago, whenever I blew my nose, it was Tevye’s custom to say, at an equal volume to my nose-blowing, “Go Leafs Go”. For the longest time I could not figure out why he was doing this, and at the time his language hadn’t developed to a point were he was able to enlighten me. Each and every time, though, that’s what he would do. Then one night we were watching hockey, and the Leafs scored(a rarity, I know). As soon as the goal horn sounded, Tevye exclaimed “Go Leafs Go”, and it was then that I knew he associated the sound of my mucus-extraction with the goal horn in Toronto.

Recently we were all sitting around the supper table, and Nicole was regaling us with tales of her adventures sailing the seven seas, pillaging and plundering as she went. Oh, wait, that never happened. She was actually telling us about a story she had read in the news that day. Now, this is real, but I so wish it was made up. A man had suffered a heart attack while “dining” at the “Heart Attack Grill” in Las Vegas. He was, I’m told, consuming a “Quadruple Bypass Hamburger”.

Now, I was completely shocked. At once I felt terrible for this man, but at the same time I couldn’t help but wonder in sheer amazement at the fact that this happened. I believe I was rendered speechless, a feat so rare it has the tendency to catch people off-guard.

Well Nicole concluded her story by telling me that while she was reading this story, there was a picture of this establishment, taken from the exterior. Outside there was a sign which stated “People Weighing Over 350lbs Eat Free”. Again I was speechless, though Saarah was not. What did my tiny three year old daughter, who says “bewy” instead of “very”, “baoentoims” instead of “valentines”,  state at this exact moment?

“That’s ludicrous!” with all of the correct enunciation and emphasis that one should use for such a statement. She had also never used this word before, so it was quite the moment.

Much like Saarah made up and uses the word “beem-bom” on a regular basis, Tevye came up with “Goo-gone”, which originally referred to the tiny, little plastic nub on the lid of one of his cups. It quickly started being applied to people, though. It didn’t mean anything, but you’d better watch yourself, otherwise you might be called a goo-gone.

Eventually the term started to started to evolve, and is now generally accepted to mean “goof ball”.

One day, he and I were having a bit of a back-and-forth, calling each other a goo-gone, when suddenly my four year old whips out this little beauty.

“No, Tatte, you’re the goo-gone. I looked it up on the internet, and it’s you!”

Well, I couldn’t very well argue with that.

As a matter of fact, I have I found that I can’t generally win any argument with my children. I was under the impression that, as the parent, I was meant to be the bigger, stronger, smarter, wittier person, but my children tell me otherwise.


11 Responses to “Beem-Bomisms Friday – The Ludicrous Hamburger”
  1. clownonfire says:

    Kids no best, no point in arguing with this. I’ll be sending them to work soon as I have a feeling that no bosses will be able to be bigger, stronger, smarter, wittier than them. Imagine the pay check.

  2. christine says:

    Just as adorable the second time I read about them…

  3. Bob Callow says:

    You are right Moishe! They both are following in someone’s footsteps!

  4. T.D.C. says:

    Sharp as a tack, those kids of yours!

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  1. […] In case you’re like me, and you’ve been missing out, “Beem-bomisms Friday – The Ludicrous Hamburger” was posted earlier, and can be viewed here. […]

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