The Beach – Part Deux “Bazookas and Ticklers”

Posted by Moishe Callow on March 23, 2012 · 13 Comments 

Do you see what I’m up against?! How can you possibly say “No” to that face? It’s just not fair.

She was, at the time of this photograph being taken, supposed to be eating lunch quickly so that we could go back to the beach. She was very excited to go to the beach and throw rocks in the water, but do you think that she could manage to consumer her mid-day meal in a reasonable amount of time? No, of course not. She was too darn busy making cutie-patootie faces at me.

I don’t entirely know what she was up to. I mean, we weren’t leaving until her lunch(all items of which, I might add, were specifically requested by her!) was gone AND we were doing something that she had specifically requested.

When she had managed to finish eating, we headed out the door. I ran down the checklist that I posted yesterday, though when I inquired whether I had remembered my bazooka, Tevye just laughed at the word. It is a pretty funny word, and one that, on its own, doesn’t exactly illicit fear and panic in the hearts of men. No, my four-year-old boy, El Wiener Grande, laughs at it.

While I did remember the camera, I didn’t bring a bazooka(believe me, it would have come in handy, as I had to engage in not one, but two horribly awkward conversations. If I had been toting around a bazooka though, I wonder if that might have an effect completely opposite of what I’d  be looking for. I’d have to think that more people would want to come and talk to me about my bazooka. Of course, the people most inclined to ask a fella about his bazooka aren’t ones that you really want to schmooze with. Try it. Go up to a man and inquire about his bazooka, and see what reception you’re met with).

Saarah was most excited for obtaining a piece of long grass, with a fluffy bit at the top. I had use these previously for walking up behind people and tickling their ears, necks, and if I’m really sneaky, lips. You know, generally being horribly obnoxious. Saarah decided that these shall not be known as long grass, but rather, shall henceforth be referred to as “ticklers”. The ticklers that grow in this particular locale are taller than I am, and as a small child told me a couple years back, I’m a tall fella. I’m not really THAT tall, but he rode by on his bike, looked up at me, and exclaimed “You’re a tall fella”. I didn’t know how to respond.

Tevye spent the majority of his time at the beach throwing things into the ocean. While I engage in this activity as much as anyone, it is a peculiar thing to do. Why does throwing rocks into water hold such appeal? There must be some deep psychological reason.

When he wasn’t doing that, the kids were playing “Pooh Sticks” in the creeks running from the ticklers to the ocean. There was an awful lot of debris in the way, so I don’t believe any of their objects made it all the way.

In follow up to yesterday, the seal had clearly been poked, though not by sticks, but rather by a backhoe. The seal was gone, and all that was left was tread tracks, and the imprint of a scoop.

Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged with Beach, Children, Dead Seal, Family, Fatherhood, Humor, Parenting, stay at home father