What’s With the Peanuts?

So this fella walks into a pub(you’ll notice I didn’t say “bar”. This was to ensure that nobody followed interrupted me by saying “ouch”. Of course, now I’ve gone on this whole bit, it has proven to be completely unnecessary, as I’ve spent much more time explaining how I didn’t want to be interrupted, while my self-interruption has been much longer and more drawn out than a reader simply saying “ouch”. Also, I can’t actually hear you, so it wouldn’t have actually been an interruption in the first place. Hmm, perhaps I should rethink my tangents. Then again, what fun would that be?) and sits down at the bar. Of course the bartender asks what he’d like, to which he replies “A beer, please”.

The bartender then pours his drink, places it on a coaster, and carries on with his bartenderly duties.

As the man sits there, sipping his beer, he hears a tiny voice say “nice tie!” Confused, he looks around for the source of the voice, but since he was the only man around, aside from the bartender, he couldn’t figure out where it came from(it was early in the day. He had a bit of a drinking problem. The way I originally heard the joke didn’t address the issue of why he was able to hear a tiny little voice in a noisy bar, so this is my own interpretation. On another note, how come people always order “a beer” in jokes. Would you walk up to a bartender and order “a beer”? Of course not. You’d be much more specific, otherwise you might end up with something terrible, like Bud Light, or some other poor excuse for what constitutes “beer”).

A few minutes later, he heard the same tiny voice exclaim “Hey fella, that’s a swell haircut!”.

He realized that the voice was coming from the bowl of peanuts in front of him. When he saw that it was the peanuts doing the talking, one looked right at him and said “Your moustache is exceptional!”.

The man then called the bartender over, and said “Hey, what’s with the peanuts?”

“Oh” said the bartender, “They’re complimentary!”

Tevye, last night, was completely unlike these peanuts. There I was, standing in the kitchen, making supper as I usually do, when in walks Mr. Tevye. He stands beside me, hand firmly plugging his nose, and inquires what I’m doing.

“I’m making supper, Tevye, what does it look like?”


“Why are you making such a terrible face and plugging your nose?”

“It smells awful! Just awful. What are you making?!”

“Chicken and Rice with Squash”

Then when it came time for supper, of course he cleared his plate as quickly as any other night. I asked what he thought of the rice(it was a new recipe) and he assured me that he had enjoyed it thoroughly.

“Well, what were you cooking that smelled awful, Tatte?”

“The rice that you just ate up and liked so much!”

“Oh, well it was yummy.”

4 Responses to “What’s With the Peanuts?”
  1. Haha, gotta love kids 😀

  2. sillyliss says:

    That story had an awesome ending! Emilia does the opposite. Instead of tuna on toast, she thinks dinner always smells great until it’s in front of her and then she does this thing where she has to inquire about what is what and then takes a few bites before patting her tummy and announcing that she has to go to the bathroom.

  3. Pink Ninjabi says:

    HAHAHAH.. that’s sooo funny! Both the tangents, and tummyful of unsuspecting goodness. 😀


  4. stephicakes says:

    Yay! You posted your joke. 🙂 I’m a little late to it, sorry. I like that one. I think I’ll probably leave out the bits that make it sound like Marlin from Finding Nemo is telling it (have you seen that movie?), but I can definitely use that one!
    And I’m jealous that your kids eats whatever dinner you give him. Lola is slloowwwwly coming around. Like, so slow as to be almost imperceptible.

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