Giant Slingshots, Corn, and Pumpkins

On Sunday(was it Sunday, or Monday? Oh, right, we were making Thanksgiving supper on Monday, and Saturday we were at the dreaded Mall, so it must’ve been Sunday) we went to one of those corn maze, pumpkin patch, fall-ridiculousness things. It’s located about an hour away, in the town of Truro. Now Truro is the sort of place that if you haven’t been there, do your very best to keep it that way. It doesn’t really have any redeeming qualities, except for this corn maze, which, as far as corn mazes go, is pretty spectacular.

DSC_0960The children weren’t entirely sure of the concept. Oh sure, they love to figure out mazes in activity books and on paper placemats at restaurants, but put them in front of a giant corn maze, and they get all nervous.

“What if we get lost?”

“What if we can’t get out?”

“What if we’re in here for two hours and I don’t get to eat lunch? You know how I get when I’m hungry. You wont like me when I’m hungry(skin slowly turning green)”…alright, this last one may have been me.

We tried to explain that the whole point in a maze was to get lost and then try to get out, but Tevye takes things VERY literally. We also pointed out that we had been given a map of the maze at the beginning, so that we could find our way out. Also, it’s corn stalks. If we were legitimately lost, we could probably muscle our way through the corn to get out. Remember, I turn into the hulk when I’m hungry, and if I don’t eat every half hour, well let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.

Now, if you can imagine, we did manage to make our way through the maze AND I didn’t go all “Hulk SMASH!” on the place. I’m sure the family who owns the farm is thankful, even though they didn’t express this sentiment, bunch of jerks!

Once we’d consumed enough food to keep my muscles in-check, we moved on to other activities. First up, the giant slingshot thing. I believe they are supposed to be used to launch water balloons, but October in Nova Scotia is neither the time or the place. We were using orange road hockey balls, and trying to hit a target. Of course, there’s no barrier between where people are meandering about and where these orange projectiles are being launched, so it’s really a wonder that nobody got hurt. Also, they were being propelled in the general direction of the parking lot, and while none made it far enough, it was conceivable that it could happen if someone was trying to be a dink(yeah, I used the word “dink”. You wanna make something of it?).

We also took in the stinky-delight that is the petting zoo, donkey-rides(yeah, it’s a thing), pig races(yeah, that’s also a thing), and multiple tractor rides where a man told really bad jokes. We also made sure to collect pumpkins from the pumpkin patch, but Mama and the kids all wanted giant ones, which were all too heavy for them to carry(well, Mama managed to carry her own). They were also located at the far end of the patch o’pumpkins. As a result, I ended up getting to use my giant arm muscles to go all “Dirty Dancing” and carry two(pumpkins, not watermelons). Much to my disappointment, no dancing broke out, and no girls swooned.

After all of this, I believe that Tevye’s favourite part of the whole darn day, was when the train went by and we managed to get the driver to toot his horn for us.

Money well spent


2 Responses to “Giant Slingshots, Corn, and Pumpkins”
  1. disciple254 says:

    You crack me UP. Your blog is my newest blog muse.

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