But What if There’s Bears?

This summer we decided it was time to introduce the kids to one the most Canadian of all summer activities: Camping. It has been brought to my attention that “all the cool kids are doing it”, and if that isn’t an argument worth listening to, I don’t know what is.

So, after having procured the necessary supplies and provisions, we loaded the car(incredibly poorly) and set off. Three minutes later we realized we forgot the camera, so we turned around and went back home. Thinking that if I could just not find the camera for three hours, I might be able to get myself out of this ridiculous expedition. When I didn’t come back to the car after three minutes, my pain in the butt darling wife came looking for me. Upon discovering me sitting at the table, drinking coffee, reading the news, and the camera sitting right in front of me, she told me that, not only was I obviously not looking very hard, but I wouldn’t be getting out of this. I told her I’d really like to finish my coffee before we set off, and she responded, ever so lovingly, that it was in the same damn travel mug that I’d brought in from the car when I came in to look for the camera. I told her she was mean, and that she couldn’t come to my birthday party.

So once again, we set off on our grand adventure. We drove, and drove, and drove some more. Endless winding roads through the country, along the shore, and through the forest. A whopping 7.8km later, we arrived at our destination(it’s a very diverse 7.8km).

As we pulled into the campground it dawned on Tevye that we would be spending the night in the woods. I don’t know what the boy was expecting when we said we were going camping. He was fully aware of the concept, and yet the sudden realization that this would all take place in the woods came as a shock.

“Are we camping in the forest?!”

“Yes, Tevye.”

“All night?!”

“Yes sir.”

“I don’t want to sleep in the forest.”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s bears in the forest.”

I assured him that while bears do indeed live in the woods(as well as perform a variety of bodily functions), there weren’t any to be found in this particular locale.

Still a little unsure, he was somewhat hesitant upon getting out of the car regarding the possible presence of Genus Ursus. I set to work setting up the tent, and making a fire. The children, meanwhile, were encourage to explore the woods immediately surrounding our campsite(don’t worry, they couldn’t get far without bumping into another campsite). This suggestion didn’t go over very well, as they were still worried about bears. They’d get no more than three meters into the woods, before they’d come back out, declaring the woods to have been successfully explored.

It was at this point Tevye realized the true joy of camping. He needed to use the washroom, and I informed him that there was an outhouse down the road a bit, but advised him that it would be rather malodorous. The look on his face seemed to imply “wait, you brought me out here, in the middle of the forest, where bears roam free and will most likely eat my toes while I sleep – IF I can sleep – and the only facilities are a poo-filled hole in the ground?!”, so I offered another suggestion.

“Or you can just walk into the trees a bit and pee there.”

We’ve not had much occasion for the boy to pee on things(actually, I’ve done my best to avoid him peeing on things), so this was a bit of a new experience. He obviously enjoyed it, because not only did he completely forget about the non-existent presence of bears, but he claimed he needed to pee every thirty minutes for the remainder of the trip. Not only that, but he would declare, in a voice loud enough for the entire campground to hear, that he would be going to “water the leaves”.

All-in-all it was a delightful trip, even if no less than 1000 people think that my son has a terrible bladder problem.


5 Responses to “But What if There’s Bears?”
  1. sillyliss says:

    LOL! The true joys of camping by Teyve the Bear Lover. 🙂 Sounds like he marked the territory well and you can go back year (is this an annual thing?) and claim it as yours!

    • Well it’s definitely going to be an annual thing. I hadn’t considered the fact that Tevye had successfully marked that particular spot as ours. Perhaps if we just tell the park ranger next year that our spot has already been claimed we’ll get in without paying.

      Thanks for pointing that out!

  2. I agree with your boy, loved camping but not the prospect of bears.

  3. Jonathan says:

    I loved reading this. Our son is six months old and we took him on his first camping trip about two months ago and he had a great time sleeping in the tent. We also went camping to France with him but I feel like we kind of cheated as we stayed in a mobile home. It wasn’t all straight forward though as I had my first encounter with a travel cot, and indeed a travel cot that didn’t come with any instructions. I hope that he’ll keep on enjoying camping like your kids seem to be doing.

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