You Won’t Touch His Big Lizard?!

On Saturday evening, Saarah had a gala to attend, and I was the lucky fella who would be accompanying her. We all know that she could’ve taken anyone she wanted, and that I was just something to dangle off her much-desired arm. It’s fine. I’ve come to terms with my role.

This party happened to be for one of her classmates’ birthday, and it was billed to be a veritable who’s who of the local elementary school kindergarten class. Anyone who was anyone would be in attendance, and my darling daughter just HAD to be there. We dressed in our very best and headed out, hoping to arrive at such a time as we weren’t late(fashionably or otherwise), but certainly weren’t the first ones there. I’m proud to say we had great success.

The first 30 minutes consisted of children running around, throwing balloons, catching balloons, stealing balloons, and smacking each other with balloons. A good time was had by all.

Then it came time for the main event. The Reptile Show. The first animal to be brought out was a giant tarantula. As someone who hates eight-legged things, and had agreed to go to this event because the other parental unit dislikes snakes, I was horribly put-off by this. Hey, jerkwad, a spider isn’t a reptile, and that thing is disgusting. All of the kids were offered the chance to both touch and, ugh, hold most of the animals. Saarah, very intelligently, didn’t want anything to do with this vile creature.

After this, a scorpion was on display, followed by a tree frog, a turtle, a tortoise, a bearded dragon, all of which she was quite keen to touch and hold. She was hesitant, but she held out a finger or two hands each time the opportunity presented itself. At this point, a very large iguana was brought forth, looking as majestic and dinosaur-like as anything. To my utter surprise, she wanted nothing to do with it. Apparently it looked to scary.

Two snakes, one small, and one, shall we say “not so small” were produced, and she was quite keen to rub her grimy mitts all over the darn things. She even went so far as to declare them to be her favourite animals of the evening! A nine foot python that could kill you doesn’t bother you, but a harmless iguana is where you draw the line? Go figure. I guess that’s why the adults in the crowd were the far more timid creatures. We’re smart enough to know better.

“Ignorance is Bliss.”

On the drive home I inquired as to why she didn’t want to touch the iguana, and she told me it was because he had spikes. I tried to tell her that they were soft, and wouldn’t hurt.

“Well, he still looked scary… like a shark.”

What?! He clearly looked nothing like a shark.

“Well he did to me!”

Alright. I’m not going to argue this one.

6 Responses to “You Won’t Touch His Big Lizard?!”
  1. suzjones says:

    Never argue with a 5 year old. Their rationalisation techniques are way out the league of us poor adults. 🙂

  2. ScorpionGlow says:

    Not many children would be willing to go near a scorpion either. I, personally, wouldn’t because I would feel like it was bad karma. I refused a gift of one behind glass because I thought the ramifications of me owning one were anything, but positive. LOL. I don’t like snakes either. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve met a lot of people that I’d prefer the snake over.

    This was a really good post.

  3. LOL…Wonderful!! I have a story a bit like this. I would take my 3 children to Miami monthly to visit family and take them to one of the children’s museums or zoo. We made many visits to the children’s museum (interactive) and the always had an animal show with cute cuddly small animals. One visit I took my 3 and their 2 cousins by myself (this was crazy) and we went to the animal show and out comes the nice man with a tarantula. I normally will basically freak when seeing a large spider (these are not animals) but I had to maintain composure. We of course were sitting in the first row the 3 boys on one side and the girls on the other, all knowing my normal reaction to spiders. The nice gentleman explained that they only bite when frightened and wanted to show the group in attendance this fact so he asked me…me to put out my had to hold this creature. He put it in my hand and asked me to pet it…it ‘s soft like a cat. But it proceed to crawl up my arm (girls behind me and the boys trying to slide in to the lap of another foolish parent. The nice gentleman finally removed it when it got to my shoulder (by this time Sarah, 5 and Angie, 6 had moved to sit with brothers who were now at end of row). I was completely unable to speak (fear) and trying to keep my concentration on where the children were. That was the last time I didn’t ask what they were exhibiting before going outside to the “animal” show. But all the children thought I was brave. 🙂

    • You’re a whole lot braver than I am. Ugh, gross. One of the fathers at the party doesn’t care for snakes(apparently he’s had nightmares for the past three nights since the party), and he was sitting with his son, touching the snake to encourage his son to do so.

      • It wasn’t bravery, I didn’t want to upset a group of children. Parents do crazy things for their children and other children. Still shiver when I think about it.

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