What?! Why Would She… I’m at a Loss

A few months back we were driving home from Ballet on the weekend. The class had gone well, Saarah was in a good mood, and DJ Moishe was spinnin’ some sweet tracks(I have no idea if that’s how you’d say that. Is there anyone out there that can tell me if I sound “hip” and “with it”, and re-enforce the belief that I am “one cool cat”?). The weather would’ve been warm enough that I wouldn’t have complained if the kids had their windows down, and we were probably gearing up for hockey that evening, and perhaps I was getting ready for a bike ride in the afternoon. It was an altogether good day.

But then there’s Saarah.

She has a way of making a perfectly lovely outing into something ridiculous. She’ll have you subjecting yourself to ridiculous humiliation, and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it. On second though, perhaps “ridiculous humiliation” might not be the most accurate way of phrasing that. Both of those words, used independently, could indeed be true, though I can’t honestly think of a time that they could be used together to describe a situation that arose as a direct result of my darling daughter. Then again, maybe I’ve just grown used to all of her peculiarities, and her ability to suck anyone within a three metre radius into them.

So there we were, four people bound together by our mutual desire to ensure that Saarah was happy, careening down the road at speeds in excess of, I kid you not, 55km/h as we maneuvered through the intricacies of the on-ramp to the highway, and then it happens.

Saarah gets an idea.

An idea that I cannot begin to fathom the logic of. What she hoped to accomplish, I could not in my wildest dreams begin to ascertain.

She took off her shoe and threw it out the window.

It’s a darn good thing I looked back at that exact moment, otherwise I might’ve never known. We would’ve arrived at home, wondering why she only had one shoe, and where the other one had vanished to. We would’ve figured that, somehow, we’d forgotten to ensure that she had two on her feet when we left ballet.

I quickly got my wife caught-up on the goings-on of the back seat. It took a few repeats, as she didn’t quite believe what I was saying. Within a minute we’d stopped, and the lovely lady sitting adjacent to me got out, walked back down the road, retrieved the shoe, and came back. The shoe was returned to the original owner, and we carried on our way.

I had thought about telling Saarah that she’d just have to carry on without her right shoe, to teach her that you can’t throw your shoe out the window of a moving vehicle. I was told that this was a silly idea, as then she’d either be resigned to walking around with only one shoe, or we’d have to buy her new shoes. Since it’s frowned upon to let your child arrive at school missing a shoe, we’d be forced to buy her new shoes, and what sort of punishment is that?

If I ever told my wife “If you don’t stop cheering for the Habs, I’m going to force you to buy new shoes” I think we can all agree that I’d be met with a “Go Habs”, an “Ole ole ole ole…”, and probably her kissing a picture of Carey Price.

Now who’s being punished?

Since that day we’ve not been able to drive along that on-ramp without having a family chuckle and telling Saarah to keep her shoes where I can see them.

Seriously, who does that?!



7 Responses to “What?! Why Would She… I’m at a Loss”
  1. jcw0623 says:

    Absolutely hilarious. Aren’t kids great? Haha. I’m having my first in about 5 months. I can’t wait for stories like this.

  2. Ha ha, this is fantastic. Sounds like your little girl just does all those things that we would do if our adult brain didn’t kick in quickly enough.

    By the way, i believe you were not so much ‘spinnin’ sweet tracks’, as ‘droppin’ them. But don’t quote me on that.

  3. Joanne says:

    The bump and I got a good chuckle out of that story. Kids are just…awesome that way.

  4. chrisitne says:

    This event sounds familiar to when someone, not saying who, lost their hiking boots at a gas stop in Alaska. How this happened we will never know.

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