The Big Tooty Bum (Warning, this story contains farting)
We were driving home yesterday afternoon, and something happened. Somebody had a big stinky toot. It could’ve been Tevye, it could’ve been Mama, it could’ve been anyone… The point of this story isn’t who did the crime, and should therefore do the time, but rather, the aftermath of this unfortunately malodorous event.
For some reason the finger of judgement was pointing straight at me(I’m still convinced it was either Saarah or a problem with the car). Windows were rolled down, noses were plugged, grossed-out noises were made, it was quite a scene. Tevye complained that he was cold, so mama rolled up the window. He immediately complained that it was stinky so she rolled down the window. He then, get this, complained that he was cold. The explanation fell on deaf ears.
Saarah, also quite put-off by the series of events, felt the need to voice her opinion. With a look so serious it would make a grown man nervous she told me
“Tatte! Shut off your farting bum!”
It wasn’t me. It was Mama.
“Tatte, get out of the car and walk home!”(arms fully crossed – She was hilariously serious)
No, I’m not going to walk home.
I never saw such a serious response to a toot, and certainly not from a five-year-old!
The Musings of a Jewish Stay-At-Home Father 
Thanks for making me giggle! I hope the car is finally aired out, whoever the culprit was!!
haha, yeah it smells like freshly baked bread in a rose garden now.
Not too bad. Just a step below homemade apple pie!
Haha, shut off your farting bum – like it’s a valve that’s leaking. I imagine she’ll be perfecting that serious look and voice if the stinky car situation continues 😉