The Right Shirt

Even though Miss Saarah is now five years old(I know it sounds strange, but it’s true. She really is THAT old!), I still find that I have difficulty picking out clothes for her. Actually, let me rephrase that. I have difficulty getting clothing choices approved by the Board of Governors, consisting of Saarah and Mama. Each choice I make will be scrutinized by the two of them, and only then will I be told if the decisions I’ve made are appropriate. While I give it a solid effort, apparently I’m not making much of an improvement in understanding fashion for girls in the 4 to 6 age range.

There is a pair of tight pants that she wears that have a floral pattern on them. The colours are a mixture of pink and brown. I hate them. I think they’re one of the ugliest pieces of clothing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Apparently I’m wrong, and they qualify as full-fledged “cute”.

She was gifted a vest last fall, and instantly fell in love with it. It’s about 46 sizes too big, it’s black and white plaid, and has a hood with some sort of awful faux fur lining. The thing is an assault to your eyes, and a perfect waste of the gift of sight. Somewhere in southeast Asia there’s an impoverished factory worker, crying their eyes out at the thought of being partially responsible for creating such a monstrosity. Poor children in other parts of the world, upon complaining about their tattered clothes, are told to be thankful for what they have, and that small Canadian girls would be happy to have what they do!

I’m told by both members of the Board of Governors that I’m wrong on my opinion of this particular piece of clothing as well. Shows what I know.

Do you want to know the worst part about this whole situation? Of course you do. You wouldn’t have read this far if you didn’t. The worst part is that I’m still routinely asked to pick out clothing for The Little Miss. I can’t decide if this is because my lovely wife thinks that I’ll eventually get the hang of it(I still hold that I do a fine job, and they’re off their rockers), or so they can make fun of the ridiculous choices I make. For all I know, this could be some clever ruse whereby they actually have no issue with my clothing choices, but just want to make my life as difficult as possible. Women, no matter their age, can be mean.

And so it was last night, as the pain in the pants sweet princess was being tucked into bed, I was asked to pick out some clothes for her for the next day. No problem, I thought. I’m going to pick out clothes so perfect that these two nincompoops think that I consulted some sort of Fashion Wizard.

Undies – No problem.

Socks – Fine and dandy

Pants – Pink! Always a golden choice

Tights for under the pants – Doesn’t matter because nobody will see them

Shirt – Green and very nice looking with those pants… what Saarah?

“That shirt does NOT go with those pants.”

Oh for the love of… No? And what shirt would you propose I pair with these vibrantly pink pants, m’dear?

“The one with the pink heart on it.”

Well just because they were bought as a set doesn’t mean that they have to be worn together for all eternity. I mean, it’s not like it’s a suit. Heck, even with suits you can switch out pieces to change the look. There’s nothing wrong with the green shirt! I’m losing this fight, aren’t I?


Fine. I could argue all night, but she’s not going to listen. If I try to be sneaky and switch them after she’s asleep, she’ll just complain to her mother in the morning and we all know how THAT will end.

At least she’s not wearing that ridiculous vest.

5 Responses to “The Right Shirt”
  1. Wait till Junior High/middle school. Their fashion terrorism goes into a confounding puzzle you will simply have to accept has no solution. The lucky part is when she is 17, she will look back and laugh with you at her hideous choices. My 20 year old laughs now at wrapping his trainers in duct tape when he was 13. Try as I might to stop him (AND support his tastes,) he still wore them. Now he laughs and blames me, too, for not protecting his tender 13 year old self from himself. Get ready. You can’t win this one either way.

  2. Lesli says:

    She’s the same age as my daughter, and I stopped the clothing wars by letting her choose her own clothes. I reserve the right to add a fleece if the clothes aren’t warm enough, but otherwise, I just let her pick. At that age, everything looks good on them, and the more outlandish, the more adorable they look. 🙂

  3. sothislife says:

    You will always lose, I so very sorry!

    • Yeah, I came to that realization very early on in her life. I believe it was actually about 3 minutes after she was born.

      • sothislife says:

        My daughter loved to pick her best dresses to play outside, luckily she had a grandmother to loved to shop.
        Then she became a teenager and would only shop in second hand stores..don’t ask me.

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