Just the Two of Us

This past weekend Saarah had been invited to the 1,476,984th birthday party since the school year started, and she just HAD to be there. It was billed to be a veritable “Who’s Who” of the kindergarten class, and she couldn’t miss out. Such an event meant that Tevye and I would be alone for supper that evening.

Now, if you have ever had any exposure to popular culture, you’ll know that a man being left in charge of a six year old boy for the evening will most likely not end well. Men, for obvious reasons, can’t be trusted to make supper, keep the house from burning down, or properly attend to the needs of children. Duct tape will most likely be employed at some point, and an injury is almost inevitable. When it comes to child-rearing, men are nothing more than utter buffoons.

As I didn’t want to disagree with the image portrayed by pop culture, I made sure that we ate burned ketchup sandwiches for supper, broke two windows while playing hockey, and filled the bathtub with beer, just to see if we could actually consume THAT much alcohol without succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

By the time the girls got home, we were passed out on the bathroom floor, burned ketchup stains on our chests(did I mention we had stripped down to our underwear as soon as the girls left?), and shards of glass embedded in our hands. I’m told it was quite a sight, though given my unconscious state, I don’t actually have first-hand knowledge of the events.

There are, I’m sure, people who might read this and assume that it actually happened, but you’re not one of them, are you? Of course  not.

We did play hockey, but the puck remained away from the windows. Tevye won the first game, and I narrowly won the second. He should’ve had a slashing penalty called, but the refs were clearly on his side. The only beer that was consumed was after the girls got home, and it was a very moderate amount while watching the hockey game later that night. Supper was stir fried vegetables and tofu with a homemade Szechuan sauce.

While we were having supper, Tevye turned to me and said “Tatte, I like when it’s just the two of us”.

I really like that too, Tevye.

I’m sorry if I’ve destroyed your notion of what happens when men are left alone with children, but that’s the reality of the situation.

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Comments
3 Responses to “Just the Two of Us”
  1. ScorpionGlow says:

    First genuine laugh of the day. Thank you! 🙂 It’s ALWAYS a good time for hockey!

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