Secondhand Stories

While I was working over the weekend, Mamacita and the Stink-Generators(if we ever start a family band that’s what we’re going with. I’ve just decided, and I doubt anything more awesome could be created) decided it would be a good idea to spend the day at the beach. Who could blame them?! It warmed right … Continue reading

My Children are Failures

Woah, hey now! That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? No, it’s true. I don’t like the fact any more than you do, but it’s the reality of the situation. The Oxford-English Dictionary describes “Failure” as “an unsuccessful person or thing”. The Oxford-English Dictionary describes “Hullabaloo” as “a commotion or a fuss”, but we’re not … Continue reading

Just the Two of Us

This past weekend Saarah had been invited to the 1,476,984th birthday party since the school year started, and she just HAD to be there. It was billed to be a veritable “Who’s Who” of the kindergarten class, and she couldn’t miss out. Such an event meant that Tevye and I would be alone for supper … Continue reading

She’s Going to be Trouble

This past weekend our house turned into a war zone. Alright, perhaps “war zone” is a bit of an understatement, but I’m not sure how else to describe the mood around here when the Leafs play the Habs. Oh sure, it’s just hockey and really has no bearing on real life, but that doesn’t mean … Continue reading

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One…

The two stinkers have discovered how jokes work, and have been attempting to put them to good use. It all started one day in the grocery store. As we entered the second hour of my wife trying to figure out exactly which shampoo will do the best job of causing large quantities of her hair … Continue reading

In Which Saarah Eats Time

I’ve come up with the best excuse for missing work. Seriously, if this doesn’t get me out without being reprimanded, I don’t know what will. We were eating supper on Monday evening, as we do most nights. The supper in question was stir fry with peanut sauce. Delicious, right? I even found purple cauliflower at … Continue reading

The Right Shirt

Even though Miss Saarah is now five years old(I know it sounds strange, but it’s true. She really is THAT old!), I still find that I have difficulty picking out clothes for her. Actually, let me rephrase that. I have difficulty getting clothing choices approved by the Board of Governors, consisting of Saarah and Mama. … Continue reading

The Big Tooty Bum (Warning, this story contains farting)

We were driving home yesterday afternoon, and something happened. Somebody had a big stinky toot. It could’ve been Tevye, it could’ve been Mama, it could’ve been anyone… The point of this story isn’t who did the crime, and should therefore do the time, but rather, the aftermath of this unfortunately malodorous event. For some reason … Continue reading

What is the Unicorn Chasing?

Not being someone who remembers many dreams, I’ve always been torn as to whether I’d like to remember more. On the one hand, I’d like to know what I’m thinking about during the eight hours when I’m asleep. Heck, that’s a third of every day, and I have no idea what’s happening in my own … Continue reading

Misheard Song Lyrics

We’ve all been there: There’s a song on the radio, you’ve heard it many times before, and you love to sing along. It could be an old song or a new song, it really doesn’t matter, you love it, and something deep down inside you will NOT let you hear this song without belting out … Continue reading