My Shirt’s a Belly

Posted by Moishe Callow on October 22, 2013 · 38 Comments 

It happened! It finally happened!

One day this summer, the most amazing thing happened. It’s the day that, almost as soon as a man finds out he’s going to be a father, he looks forward to the most. It’s not the birth of his beautiful child, or coming up with a fitting name. It’s not the first time that your darling son tries steak, or the first poop on the potty. It’s not the first day of school, the first haircut, or even the first time he looks up at you and calls you “Tatte”, “Daddy”, “Pop”, or whatever word you use in your family. No, this day is much more monumental than all of those combined. It’s a day that truly makes you realize that your son is growing up.

Like any father, I’d had enormous expectations for this event, but it turned out to be so much better than I’d ever imagined. I had anticipated some sort of gradual build-up to the big event, easing us both into the idea of it, but that’s not how it went down. The fact that it happened at Tevye’s birthday party made it all the more momentous.

I’m referring to the first time you, as a parent, embarrass your children in public. Not in a bad way, like you tell their friends an embarrassing story. No, you’re just goofing around, acting the same way as you do at home, and suddenly, in front of all their friends, your child sees you as a big dork. Anyone who knows me is only too keen to advise newcomers to my circle of ridiculousness that I fall well within the boundaries of “dorkus malorkus“, but for my eldest child to come to that realization, well, that’s a special moment in the life of any father.

It all came about quite innocently. For weeks leading up to the event, Tevye had been going around the house, lifting up his shirt(or just taking it off), and, to anyone within earshot, querying “Like my shirt? My shirt’s a belly!” Of course, being the dork that I am, I found this to be rather humourous, and would chortle appropriately each time the phrase was uttered. On occasion, much to the chagrin of the gals(yes, I used the word “gals”. Deal with it) in our house, I’d get in on the belly-shirt action. A good time was had by half.

And so it was, at Tevye’s sixth birthday party, all of us were running around a field by the beach, playing frisbee. I decided that this would be an appropriate time to start a rousing round of “Like my shirt”. Once the shirt was lifted, and I’d gotten half-way through my question, Tevye ran over as fast as he could, grabbed my shirt, and pulled it down, sternly looked at me, and informed me that this was inappropriate.

I told him that I was just asking if he liked my shirt, because MY shirt is a belly. He didn’t care for it.

I did.

He hasn’t managed to get embarrassed by our public “dork-off” competitions since then, but he’s young yet. I’m given to understand that as he gets older, it gets easier to be seen as a doofus in his eyes.

Saarah, on the other hand, is such a dork that I doubt I’ll ever manage to embarrass her. I may have to up my game.

The fake moustache was a part of all the kids’ treat bags at the party. All of us were running around with fake moustaches at the park. Even I had one, even though I have a real one attached to my face.

Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged with Children, embarrassing, Family, Father, Fatherhood, funny, Humor, kids, Parenthood, Parenting, stay at home father